12/06/09 20:49:54.88 vUCWPyCB0
[添削後]
Baseball players without smile don't look nice. Forget about what the coach says and just enjoy playing.
Make this summer the greatest memory in your life.
[評価]
10点満点で7点くらい。your baseball performance、coach's words、the greatest memoriesには、少々無理があると思う。Make this summer one of the
greatest memories in your life.とするならば、memoriesが複数形でも違和感は薄い。