23/01/23 17:24:39.76 0mjOCfm/M.net
採点よろしくお願いします。23分で書き上げたので、内容がお粗末なのはわかってます。
ちなみに25点で合格確定です
It is undeniable that industrialization has a boon to humanity. However, I believe that it has certain adverse effects as well for the following three reasons.
First, through rapid industrialization, the damages on the environment are being caused. Today, thousands of plant and animal species are on the verge of extinction, and between 200 and 2000 animal species go extinct every year. Thus, it is imperative for governments to repair damages on their habitats that humans have brought about.
Global warming is also a cause for concern. Carbon dioxide emissions by factories serve as a catalyst for rapid increase in temperature on the planet, which has devastating effects on coastal cities. Thus, reducing greenhouse emissions are indispensable from now on.
Finally, industrialization can cause tradition to disappear. In urban areas, for instance, family-owed business have trouble succeeding because large corporations dominate the commerce in the area. Because traditional industry is invaluable and essential for our culture, supporting traditional business takes precedence over industrialization.
In conclusion, for these reasons stated above, living things, global warming, and tradition, there is no doubt that industrialization has negative influence and taking measures to mitigate the effects is a top priority for governments.
自分で自覚している点
? Body2でrising sea levels を書き忘れてる
? デリメットがメリットを上回ると書いてない。回答がずれてる？
? Industrialization のパラフレーズできてない。